Sleep, little Merrill
by fishstic
Summary: Merrill can't sleep so she talks to Hawke about it. Modern au


"Hawke?"

The sleepy voice caught her attention through the dark of the room and the still of the night. She sat up on her bed, looking to see if she could locate its owner, Merrill, through the darkness, using only the light of the clock on her nightstand. It proved more difficult than she thought.

"Yes, Merrill?" she asked quietly. "Are you in your bed?"

"I have a question," Merrill replied. "And no, I'm standing right in front of you."

"I don't see you," Hawke all but whined.

Merrill walked forward a bit and gently put her hand on Hawke's arm causing Hawke to jump slightly. "I'm right here."

"Uh…yes, I-I can feel that now," Hawke stammered.

It had been three and a half years since she decided to let Merrill move in with her. Their apartment wasn't that big, but it served them well while they saved up to afford something bigger. She never quite got over how cute Merrill was, and every day she found herself falling harder for the elf. She tried to keep that hidden though in case Merrill didn't feel the same way.

"Hawke, can I sleep in your bed? With you," Merrill asked. "Please?"

Hawke tried to swallow the lump forming in her throat that threatened to keep her from speaking. It would be nice to have her little Elven best friend sleep curled up next to her, but did Merrill want—or expect—something more than that? "May I ask why? I'm not saying no; I just want to know what prompted this."

"I-I had another dream about Meiriana," Merrill said sheepishly.

Hawke made room for Merrill and gently pulled her down to sit on the bed. She put an arm around her gently. "You really miss her, don't you?"

"I do," Merrill said leaning against Hawke. "She was my best friend."

"If it helps, you can tell me the story, I don't mind listening," Hawke said quietly.

Merrill nodded against Hawke's shoulder. "Meiriana Mahariel and her best friend, perhaps more—we all thought he was more though neither of them ever confirmed or denied that—, Tamlen were my best friends…my only friends. And the best hunters the clan had seen in years. They were out hunting together one day, when…well no one is entirely sure, Meiriana ran away before she could tell anyone the truth, but what she told me was that they separated to flank the animal they were hunting and she was grabbed by bandits. She told me that she screamed for Tamlen's help, thinking he'd kill the bandits from out of their reach." She paused to take a steadying breath, wanting to avoid crying while telling this story if she could.

"She said she had no idea that Tamlen had ran out of arrows taking down the kill on his own. Tamlen came for the bandits with his sword, and the bandits killed him. She never did say what the bandits did with her, whatever it was it wasn't good." Another pause. "I have my own ideas about what happened, but there's no way I could tell anyone them. Anyway, she carried him about halfway back to camp before collapsing on the path and being found probably an hour later by some other hunters who were concerned about why they were taking so long."

"Those hunters carried the two of them back to camp. Keeper Marethari was the first one to suspect bandits, a suspicion that was confirmed when Meiriana woke up and Marethari asked me to get the story from her. That's how she worded it too 'the story' not 'the truth'. I didn't realize until Meiriana refused to say what the bandits did with her that Marethari knew she wouldn't tell the whole truth, she just needed to know what to tell the clan." Merrill bit her lip and looked at Hawke, though she knew Hawke couldn't see her through the darkness of the room.

"Meiriana told me she was going to leave after Tamlen's funeral. She said she was afraid. She didn't say what she felt afraid of. I think she was afraid the clan would blame her as much as she blamed herself. 'If only I'd been quiet when they told me to,' she said to me. 'If I'd let Tamlen find me without calling for him,' she said to me. I tried to tell her that no one blamed her because it wasn't her fault, it was the bandits'. But she wouldn't listen. She ran away the night after the funeral leaving behind only one thing." Merrill reached in her shirt and pulled the amulet out from under it. "This amulet. She left it with a note that said 'give this to Merrill so she'll never forget me. I'm sorry.' It was her mother's. I've worn it every day since and I think I'll never ever forget her. No one in our clan has actually seen her since she ran away. There's been rumors and speculations.

"It was rumored that she'd been seen in Lothering, Denerim, Orzammar, the Circle Tower on Lake Callenhad, Redcliffe, even Keeper Zathrian's clan. The only one that makes sense to me is Keeper Zathrian, unless she was trying to find somewhere to go that no one would think to look for her. Rumors stemming from the other ones say she entered Lothering with Alistair Theirin and an apostate, and left with them plus a Qunari and a red-haired Orlesian chantry sister. They say she met up with Ella Cousland of Highever, and a city elf from Denerim shortly after leaving Lothering. The same rumors say once she left Orzammar it was in the added company of a short and rather rude Dwarf. She joined up with an elderly mage from the Circle, and Zevran, no one is clear on when she might have met Zevran, just that he tried to kill her and failed. She was also seen with two Mabaris. One for sure belonged to Ella, but the other seems to be hers. This is all really odd rumors and company for a run-away Dalish Hunter. Still, part of me hopes it's all true. If it is, at least she's not alone."

Hawke turned and hugged Merrill. "We could ask Zevran. I still have his phone number."

"You want to ask him at 2 am if he had tried to kill my best friend?" Merrill asked.

Hawke bit her lip and shook her head. "Alright maybe not the best idea."

"Maybe later," Merrill asked.

Hawke was about to reply when there was a really loud crashing sound from the next apartment followed by a soft Orlesian voice saying, "Meiri you need to be more careful. Moving in, in the middle of the night means that people are sleeping."

"Sorry," came the muffled reply. "I'll try to be more careful. Who turned the light off?"

"New neighbors?" Hawke asked. "At two am?"

"You've got clothes on," Merrill said and Hawke raised an eyebrow. "I've got clothes on. Let's go offer them help."

"What happened to wanting to sleep?" Hawke asked.

"If they keep dropping things no one will get any sleep," Merrill said reasonably.

Hawke nodded. "You'll probably want to put some shoes on though."


End file.
